Rating: 9/10

Will someone please find me the woman on whom Tabus character in Cheeni Kum is based? Because Id like to marry her. For that matter, if even the real life Tabu is 70% of what her character is, I wouldnt mind her either. Shes got almost all the traits of my dream woman mature (not giggly thank God!), witty without being cutting, laidback yet funny, strong willed but not stubborn, and a good cook (which I am too (as long as my friends and family havent been lying to my face and puking behind my back)).

Maybe its because Id fall in love with someone like Neena Tabus character that I didnt mind that the first hour of Cheeni Kum is mostly banter and very wittee repartee between the two leads. Also in the mix is the very talented Swini Khara, a 9 year old blood cancer-afflicted girl whose nickname is Sexy. Most Hindi film kids are such irritating brats that you just want to either put imported cellotape on their mouths or spank their little arses to hell. Sexy is not shes one of the most intelligent and witty kids put to celluloid, and her conversations with the Big B are simply delightful. Theres a delightful little thread where she keeps on asking him to being A rated DVDs for her to watch before she kicks the bucket.

Oh, the story. Well, Buddhadev Gupta (Bachchan) is the chef-cum-owner of Londons finest Indian restaurant. When Tabu returns a biryani because its got salt instead of sugar (or was it the other way round), his gigantic ego leads him to unleash the choicest sarcasm on her culinary senses and abilities. She and her friend walk out in a huff. The next time, she sends him a perfectly cooked sample of the same dish. From then on, its witty dialogue, some brilliant sequences, and then the entry of Paresh Rawal as Tabus father, who happens to be younger than Buddhadev Gupta. You can well imagine what his reaction would be to a son-in-law older than him.

Heres an aside I havent watched Nishabd. The reasons I watched Cheeni Kum were Tabu and Paresh Rawal.

I know the very idea of a romance between a 64 year old man and a 34 year old woman would be anathema to a lot of people. It makes even me feel a bit weird, but this film develops their romance very well. Cheeni Kum is an apt title their attraction develops not through sugary romantic filmy incidents, but through very real, very plausible interaction between two intelligent people. I personally still think its a dumb idea to marry someone who might take a ticket upwards in just a few years, but Tabu says that its better to spend few years happily than a lifetime in discontent, so each to her own. Im not a conservative.

Zohra Sehgal has been the great-great-great-grandmother in too many Punjabi families, but here, shes very very different. She watches a lot of WWE wrestling and constantly tells her son Amitabh to go to the gym. The most delicious irony is this: hes a great chef, but every night he has to come home and eat her terrible dinners! Some of the remarks Bachchan makes are priceless, and make the film worth a second watch.

Paresh Rawal enters when Amitabh and Tabu decide to marry and go to discuss the matter with him. There are several moments in this part of the movie which I feel could have been played for much bigger laughs, but somehow their potential isnt tapped fully. When you have Paresh Rawal, you can do so many things.

The ending also strikes a couple of discordant notes, but by then there were so many things I loved about the movie that they were forgivable.

I was still a bit cross with the Big B for RGV Ki Aag before watching Cheeni Kum. The two films were playing simultaneously in theaters, and I had watched the former out of sheer curiosity. Hes wiped the memory of Babban Singh from my mind now with his first-class rendition of Buddhadev Gupta. Amitabh is always Amitabh in all his films I dont think he can totally shed his persona but he always gives his all to every role he plays. Hes got an uncanny charisma about him which always makes him highly watchable.

Another word on Tabu I love her for doing unusual roles. My first exposure to her acting talents was through Astitva, a film which all women and men should watch. Shes also won worldwide acclaim for her wonderful performance in The Namesake. On an objective basis, Id say this years best actress awards belong to Shefali Shah for Gandhi, My Father, but from a purely subjective point of view, Id like to see Tabu win some of them for playing a woman Id easily fall in love with.

A word of warning here: not everyone will agree with my high 9 rating. My ratings are very subjective and more of an indication of how a film affects me. I loved Cheeni Kum mainly for the delightful conversations between the characters and because Tabu was 90% the woman of my dreams. R Balki, thanks for a wonderful, low-key film. Now, who was this woman?